1 Keep It Level
-Experience a level playing field of communication.
-Be aware of how facial expressions say more than words.
-Monitor your voice tone to diminish dual messages.
-Express your reactions directly without apology.
-Focus on demonstrating respect in every communication.

2 Tell Them That You Really Heard

-Acknowledge what others are saying.
-Validate others' positions before promoting your own.
-Concentrate on listening without jumping to your views.
-Realize you can validate others without agreeing with them.
-Separate high standards from disapproval and judgment.

3 There's A Good Way To Say Everything

-Select direct ways to communicate.
-Realize that people appreciate hearing the truth.
-Recognize that there is no need to embellish or distort.
-Resolve to be comfortable talking about difficult topics.
-Use simpler descriptions and realize that less is more.

4 Replacing Deadly Habits

-Avoid passive or victimized language.
-Express yourself in the affirmative.
-Choose neutral rather than negatively-charged words.
-Recognize the pitfalls of giving people advice.
-Eliminate hackneyed ways of communicating.

5 Be Your Own Best Friend

-Get your sense of well-being from yourself.
-Disempower abusive communicators.
-Focus on what you have rather than on what is missing.
-Value the gains you receive from loss.
-Build strong systems of support.

6 Every Style Can Be Successful
-Appreciate what distinguishes you from other people.
-Believe there are many good approaches to all situations.
-Leverage your preferred style.
-See value in expanding your communication repertoire.
-Broaden your horizons to include wider views.

7 Armor For Abuse

-Dissolve people's power to hurt you with their words.
-Recognize when silence would be the best response.
-Thank people, without defensiveness, for being open.
-Take care of your internal emotional trigger points.
-Refrain from measuring yourself harshly against others.

8 Refusing The Right Way

-Remain at ease when people make difficult requests.
-Validate people's right to ask for what they want.
-Match your responses with what you can really deliver.
-Be clear when your intention is to refuse completely.
-Think through your response before you say yes.

9 Expanding Your "Who You Know" Quotient

-See NETWORKING as research and relationship building.
-Include solutions when discussing your challenges.
-Believe you have or can access the right contacts.
-Share what you know when you ask important questions.
-View NETWORKING as more than spreading your name.

10 Working It At Work

-Recognize how important positive communication is.
-Give 100% to being well-prepared.
-Speak with focus and direction.
-Base your communication on affirmative premises.
-Describe your strengths and actions in consistent terms.

11 Getting What You Want

-Think of negotiating as reaching agreement.
-Offer various options to get the results you want.
-Target what you say to your advantage.
-Define your objectives before engaging in negotiations.
-Recognize the value of patience and staying power.

12 Facing An Audience

-Challenge your belief system about public speaking.
-Realize how easy it is to talk about what you know well.
-See that stage fright enhances performance.
-Use true stories to illustrate your presentation points.
-Recognize how enthusiasm engages an audience.

13 Summing It All Up - 
     Communication, Key To The Good Life

-Know that excellence in communication enriches life.
-Value what it takes to change communication patterns.
-See how universal basic human communication is.
-Take responsibility for what you say and how you say it.
-Be patient and determined with your communication goals.